How to Grow in Self-Control (Even When It’s Hard)

By: Pastor Corbett Casteen

If there’s one thing we all struggle with, it’s self-control. Whether it’s our temper, our spending habits, our eating choices, or even the words we speak, self-control touches every area of our lives. Think about it. You need self-control in your finances, relationships, conversations, and decision-making. The more you dwell on it, the more you realize just how much self-control shapes your life.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

“Self-control is the ability to always choose the important thing over the urgent thing.” – Tim Keller

What Is Self-Control?

The Greek word for self-control means temperance or self-restraint—literally, strength within. But true self-control isn’t about human willpower; it comes from surrendering to the Holy Spirit.

  • Scrolling online? The urgent thing might be spending. The important thing is budgeting wisely.
  • Offended by someone? The urgent response may be lashing out. The important thing is extending grace.
  • Facing temptation? The urgent feeling is to give in. The important action is choosing obedience.

Why Do We Struggle with Self-Control?

Self-control is a battle between the Spirit and the flesh. Galatians 5:19-21 lists the acts of the flesh—sexual immorality, rage, jealousy, and more. Without self-control, we’re like a city without walls—exposed and defenseless (Proverbs 25:28).

The Problem with Self-Control

Many think the solution is trying harder, but Colossians 2:23 warns that rules and self-discipline alone “provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.” The truth? You can’t willpower your way to godliness.

“Self-control isn’t about trying harder—it’s about trusting deeper.”

How to Grow in Self-Control

Galatians 5:16 gives the key: “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Here are three ways to live that out:

  1. Feed Your Spirit, Not Your Flesh
    What you feed grows. Fill your mind with Scripture and surround yourself with godly community.
  2. Stay Connected to Jesus
    John 15:5 reminds us: “Apart from me you can do nothing.” Fruit, like self-control, grows naturally when you stay connected to the vine.
  3. Take Small, Daily Steps
    It’s about consistent choices:

    • Read the Bible each morning.
    • Pause before reacting in anger.
    • Be intentional with time, money, and relationships.

Are You Ready to Walk in Freedom?

Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Self-control isn’t about restriction—it’s about freedom in Christ. Don’t let sin enslave you. Surrender to the Holy Spirit and walk in victory.

Are you ready to grow in self-control and experience the freedom Jesus offers? Plan your visit to Liberty Live Church at libertylive.church/visit or get connected at libertylive.church/connect.

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Gentleness: Strength Under Control

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