We live in a day of misunderstanding about friends. The world has dumbed down friends to be followers on Facebook. You may have many fans and foes, but you will have few friends. In John 15:12-16, Jesus says, “This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me, but I chose you.”
The Categories of Friendship
We all have a variety of friendships – acquaintances, close friends, best friends. There are friends for a reason, like your neighbors or co-workers. There are friends for a season, like high school or college. You may not see them again, but they were there for a chapter of your life. These are not failed friendships! Thank God for the joy they brought you during that time. There are also friends of treason – they betray or fail you. There is no need to be angry over these. Jesus was closer to the twelve than He was his own family. Judas betrayed Him but He did not let that distract Him. When Peter denied Him, he forgave him.
The Choice of Friendship
In verse 16 Jesus said, “I chose you.” You know the old saying, “You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends.” Friendship is a choice. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Show me your friends and I will show you your future! Friends are like buttons on an elevator; they either take you up or they take you down. Wake up! We make wrong choices when we listen to wrong voices.
The Confidentiality of Friendship
You can confide in a friend. If you tell everyone all your secrets, don’t be surprised when they talk about you. All the people you are with are not with you. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends.” If they talk about others to you, they will talk about you to others. Jesus taught the multitudes, sent out 70, traveled with 12, but only let 3 in His inner circle.
The Cost of Friendship
“No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.” That is what Jesus did for us so we might be saved. Most friendships fail because of a lack of commitment. You don’t put the time and energy into it. Friendship is expensive. You must lay down your selfishness, pride, personal preferences. Making friends is one thing. Maintaining friendships is another. It is so easy to take friends for granted. Good friends keep their word and their promises. They don’t abandon you. Friends disappoint you and you disappoint them. The friends we keep the longest are the friends we keep forgiving.
The Circle of Friendship
Jesus said that we are to love as He has loved us. Tammy and I have a video called Circle of Friends. It was given to us by a couple who are friends for life, and has pictures of the memories we’ve made together. No matter how many miles or months are between us we pick right up where we left off. Friends for life know more about you than your blood kin. They are your best friends. No matter how many months or miles come in between, your friendship endures the test of time.
Every time you are around a godly friend they make you a better person. I married my best friend. She makes me better. The devil does not want you to have godly friends or to be in church. God created us to have friendships. Jesus is the ultimate example. He took the time, energy, and effort so we can too.